- Author: Christina Klein
- Estimated Reading Time: 2 mins
Individual with lower self-esteem exerts more effort in romantic pursuits - Efforts intensified in romantic pursuits by those struggling with self-confidence or a low sense of self-worth
Stuck on another Tinder date or swiping aimlessly on Hinge? You're not alone. The hunt for the One can be tiring and sometimes disheartening, leaving many wondering why some people invest so much time and energy while others barely make an effort. A 2024 study by Menelaos Apostolou, Burcu Tekes, and Antonios Kagialis delves into this very topic. They surveyed 990 Greek and Turkish individuals about how their fear of being single affects their dating lives.
The Fear of Missing Out on Love
The researchers asked participants about the effort they put into finding long-term relationships, rating statements like "I'm terrified of being single forever." Not surprisingly, those who fear being alone tend to put more effort into finding a partner. To feel less lonely and scared, they invest time, resources, and emotions into dating, hoping to find that special someone who snatches them from the clutches of fear. The more one fears loneliness, the harder they pursue relationships, seemingly unchained from rational boundaries.
However, those who are voluntarily single with no fear of being alone still don't necessarily want to stay that way, but they put less effort into getting to know someone because they're not driven by the fear of being alone. The research shows no significant gender differences in this regard.
The Role of Self-Worth
Another fascinating finding was the link between self-worth and fear of being alone. The research shows that those with higher self-worth were more confident in finding and keeping a partner, leading them to invest less time and effort into dating. In other words, confidence and a solid self-image make one feel less pressured to rely solely on a partner for validation.
The relationship between lower self-worth, increased dating efforts, and the quest for validation is complex. Individuals with lower self-worth might seek more validation through dating, leading them to engage in more dating efforts, sometimes even resorting to self-sabotaging behaviors. This can ultimately result in unfulfilling relationships and further damage to self-worth.
Seeking True Connection
While the study sheds light on the factors that influence dating efforts, it's crucial to remember that true fulfillment and self-worth come from within. Authenticity and self-acceptance are key to building stronger, more meaningful relationships. Instead of constantly seeking validation through dating apps, try focusing on being true to yourself and embracing your individuality. It might lead you to the most unexpected and rewarding connections.
- Keywords: Single, Dating, Partner, Self-worth, Self-esteem, Fear, Relationship, Confidence
Additional Insights:
- Lower self-worth can lead to self-sabotaging behaviors, including seeking validation through excessive dating efforts or resorting to an inauthentic approach[1][4].
- Persistent comparison with others and feelings of inadequacy during the dating process can exacerbate feelings of low self-worth and contribute to an increased number of dating attempts[1][5].
- Focusing on authenticity and self-acceptance can lead to more genuine connections and more fulfilling relationships[2][3].
- Women and men, voluntarily single or not, often exert varying levels of effort in finding a partner due to fear or lack of fear about being single.
- The correlation between fear of being single and increased dating efforts is evident, as those who fear loneliness invest more in dating to alleviate those feelings.
- On the other hand, individuals with higher self-worth and self-esteem are more confident in finding and sustaining relationships, therefore investing less time and energy in dating.
- Involuntarily fearing loneliness can lead to self-sabotaging behaviors, such as seeking excessive validation through dating, which may result in unfulfilling relationships and further damage to self-esteem.
- A healthy lifestyle that promotes authenticity, personal growth, and education-and-self-development can help cultivate a stronger, more meaningful partner relationship, and in some cases, can lead to love-and-dating success.
